Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Of sad and depressing movie

Even though it is final exams, I still have the time to watch drama series. I just do not know what is going to happen to my exams.

It was sad, depressing and definitely river of tears flowed through my eyes. Pathetic ain't it?

I wonder why I love watching these kind of romantics yet melancholy movie. And I know, not just me, other people are just the same. As for me, I can say I relate to the characters. Happy ending or not, there will be a character that hurts inside. Nobody realizes, pity him, sincerely I sympathize him. I think that character as me, was not neglected but overlooked. Maybe because the mask we put on made people misread what's in our heart.

When talking about love, whether it is straight character or the opposite, it is all the time unbearable to lose your love. Me? I cannot even love. I do not even know what to love. A man or a woman. Culturally and religiously need man to love the opposite gender, what more on marriage. Depressing, somber, gloomy, all the adjectives I can think of could not describe my feelings. Ahhh, this ain't right.

At least, through these movies, dramas or whatsoever medias, I can escape myself. Put my sympathy to someone else than to myself. Cry for someone else bad luck instead of mine, and laugh for man made characters' happiness rather than mine which God knows when or will I be able to find it. That are the least I can do. Pity them; characters. Pity me, pity me, a character of my own world of despair.

Thursday, 26 December 2013

This feeling of mine.

I hate this feeling, yesterday I was over the moon, today I was depressed.

Inchik S, a name I mentioned countless times in this blog of mine. He is as straight as a ruler, but this stupid side of me decided to have a feeling on him. Stupid is the word suits me best.

I am a bit sad and depressed. I know I won't have Inchik S as my other half or anything along the line, I have been yielding false hope for myself. I can't help it.

This evening my dad said we might have to move if he got a promotion. It's only two more years for him until his retirement, so he said we don't have to follow him if he was transferred. At first, the thought of moving was delightful. We'll only have to stay for two more years, then we'll be back. Besides, I would love to see new scenery and places. Later on, I went lepak-lepak with Inchik S and other friends, I realized something. If I had to move, then I'll be leaving these friends I have here. Not to mention, Inchik S. Even the thought of it breaks my heart. Not seeing him for two years, it's heartbreaking. People say, distance sometimes keeps the heart away too. Oh my...

I hope, crossing my fingers for this hope, dad will get his promotion but we will not have to move away.

Inchik S, 2013.

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Movie Night

Ahhh tonight has never been any better.

Basically, I went out with some friends to watch 47 Ronin. We planned to watch the 9.50pm show but it since we arrived there quite late, only the most front sits were available. We were definitely not going to risk our neck from breaking and eyes from soaring. So, we ended up with the midnight show.

Now, one of my friend was joking in a very sexual and erotic way to me and only me. He is very good looking, handsome indeed. But his attitude makes his look, for me at least, does not match. I didn't like his constant 'joke' on me. Flirting with me, saying sexual slurs etc. Because I gave unpleasant reaction to his flirting joke, he tried it on Inchik S. Yes, he was there with us. There's no way I went there without him, LOL. Anyway, Inchik S hated his joke too, he avoided this annoying friend at all.

Why did I talk about this. Here's the thing, I wanted to test Inchik S's reaction if I was the one who did that. Well, I didn't actually do it in a joke form, just held his arm for no reason, and he did not avoid it or said nothing about it. Instead, he just let me held his arm. I didn't hold his arm like a girl did to a boy, well, it was kind of awkward way of holding but it is also (and should be) awkward because I was holding his arm with no reason whatsoever. Yet, I know he let me held him. Asking me what to eat, standing very close to me until our body touched each other. In my mind, I was like screaming in joy. I was and am happyyyyy!!!

He's unpredictable sometimes, his signs. Or maybe it was me who mistook him. I don't know, what I know is that I am on cloud nine now. Ahhhh, I just feel awesome tonight.

*let me be in my imagination.

Monday, 23 December 2013

Of Inchik S and Me

Whenever I am at home, I would definitely spend some time with my friends here. Among these friends, Inchik S is one of them.

Tonight I met him, lepak-lepak at our usual favorite place. How long has it been since the last time I met him? Around 1 month or more I guess. I miss him.

We didn't talk much. We didn't sit near to each other and we didn't look at one another that often too. Like I said, things just a little awkward when we meet face to face. But when it comes to chatting through other medium, we write like we have always been so close. Well, we  are actually, LOL.

Anyway, I miss him. I can repeat that sentence over and over again. He i still the same, cute but sharp looking. I wanted to sit near him and watched every move he made. I am obsess with him. Oh how so I wish my other friends were not there. *blushing*

Anyway, that's all of my daily crap. Good bye.

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Humane human


Yesterday I traveled back to my hometown. It was more than a month since the last time I came back home. Yeah, though it is not that long, I still miss home very much. And glad to arrive here last night.

Two days ago, it was Thursday evening when I just came out of the library and heading back to my room. On my way, a voice stopped me. "Adik, pak cik nak ke Jalan Klang Lama, boleh bawak pak cik tak?" He is an old man I know working at the hostel's cafe, selling delicious chicken chop. One can be assured to love the chicken chop he makes, and I am one of his familiar regular customer.

"Eeemmm," I was hesitated. "Boleh pak cik, tapi saya tak tahu jalan," I gave excuses at first. "Tidak mengapa, kalau ngak tahu boleh ditanyain orang. Malu bertanya sesat jalan," said that pitiful Indonesian old man who tried to make me bring him there.

Long story short, I did take him to his desired destination. Apparently he just bought a car, small compact Kancil enough to bring his wife and him back and forth from home to work. However, I would not say this as funny, he do not have a license yet or even know how to drive. That's why he asked me to bring him there, using his car.

No thing interesting happened actually, it's just I was lost during our way back to my university. But that was when we had a long windy yet absorbing conversation. He told me about his previous work as a labor worker, how hardship brought him here. His children whom he left back in Indonesia, his family and even his tradition. I was astonished by his stories, his experience and how life teaches him to survive in this foreign land. Even though life keeps making him fall, he climbed back up. Still, he is grateful.

How life has made a strong man, standing and still fighting to survive. Not wanting to give up as he knows people, especially his family is depending on him. His sorrow and pain were his motivation, not his setback.
It was a lucky day yesterday. As soon as I arrived at Puduraya, a bus was going to depart. Heaven was on my side maybe, I got a ticket on site and the bus departed as soon as I went aboard. Before arriving at the stop I was to go down, I decided to sit at the front of the bus, just next to the driver. I initiated a conversation. "Abang drive sorang je malam ni?" "A'ah, kejap lagi ade lagi satu trip pukol 12.30malam, itu berdua la." Then the driver went on asking me whether I am still studying and I answered him. He said he sent all of his children to religious school. It is not that he wants his children to be Ustaz or Ustazah, at least in religious school his children will get the basic information about Islam and are able to use that knowledge they gain.

I was glad to see how parents things of these things for their children. Although they are not well establish, knowledge still is the priority for their children. It is the only thing that can change human to become more humane, at least. I am glad I had thess great encounters. 

Friday, 20 December 2013

Jang - Inchik S.

I promised to write everyday, am I not?

Unfortunately I was overwhelmed with assignments and other tasks, so things were a little hectic for me. But fear not since classes are over now, it's the start of study week! No class, no assignment, and I am going back and pamper myself with a lot of movies. Not to mention to stuff my face with food, lot of them! LOL.

I never miss to contact Inchik S through Facebook chat, well even though there is nothing much to talk, since I like him, I just can't stop myself from harassing him whenever he online.

In our chat, I sometimes playfully called him 'sayang', 'baby', 'babe' or 'honey' just to show my affection towards him, and how thick face I am. Anyway, these few days his chat on Facebook  started with 'Jang'. He calls me Jang now! I am super excited. You know why? Because I am assuming, since I called him 'sayang', 'Jang' is  shortened and shy form of 'sayang'. *dush*

Yes, I am delusional. At least, there's a relation, he didn't get mad at me for calling him sayang or other manja-manja names I had been using on him. I shall take that as a good sign, hehe. Anyways, Jang is getting me excited all over the place. I even rant about this on twitter even though I know he reads, more to stalk, my twitter posts. I don't care, it's just name, no sins  we'll get from this (except for sins of naughty thoughts I might have now, lalala).

Until then, see y'alls! Bye. ;)

Friday, 13 December 2013

Team bonding

Happy Friday y'alls!

I have a sudden revelation to write a post about a team bonding event that I went last Tuesday. It was for a bureau of a club that I join. Fun it was, indeed.

We had chicken bbq, some fried rice, sandwiches, sausages and more. I was part of the committee who prepared all that stuff. Well, it's only for small group of people, so it's not that hard.

Anyway, after the eating and laughing stuff, we played games, one or two. It started of so lame with a game of telling whether the infos we got were fact or the opposite. Yeah, that game ended quickly. After we decided to end that game, we proceed with a true or dare game. Now the fun just about to start.

To spin a bottle is kinda impossible since we are quite huge in number, so we passed around an object while the music is playing. When it's randomly stopped, the person with the object needs to choose either to answer a truthful question or to do a dare. Well the dare was actually to eat the leftover chicken since we have more and everyone has stopped eating it because we were too full.

There's this one time when the object stopped at our head assistant bureau. I was so mischievous that night, I asked her, does she has any feeling while working with our head bureau for the past one year? LOL, everyone was eager to know and I didn't know how the hell I thought about that question!

She was very shy and timid to answer the question, but we get the signal! Then the object stopped at our head bureau, and I asked the very same question! Do you have any feeling towards her during this whole year working together as head and assistant? He did answer though, with confidence, like a man! Yes. Simple yet gave a lot of meaning. Then I asked again, do you have anyone here you especially fond of? Yes, she's here. Beautiful, white and is wearing a Jubah right now. Everyone knew who she was of course, I LOL-ed hard.

We have never realized that they could have something between them, seriously! They did their work efficiently together and it was awesome. I believe they would make a great couple, if they do. Anyway, that's all from me. Gossiping about other people.

Bye~  *wink*

I you could see.

Frankly speaking, it has been a fortnight since I last have my night sleep. I always stay up at night, going to class in the morning then after classes end, I sleep. Yup, I sleep in  the evening.

Today's the same, well supposedly. However because of my assignment that I need to finish, I had to sacrifice my precious evening sleep and continue doing my due-tomorrow assignment. Shit.

Now I am super tired, super sleepy but I have to continue my assignment since I only have a few hours before the submission's due. Another shit.

My eyebag, urrghhhh, if you could see it, now it is going darker and lower! Shit. I hate this week. Nevertheless, endure this I must. Next week will be the last. Cross my fingers that I will do well, amin.

Thursday, 12 December 2013

new beginning


No, I did not abandon this blog. I did log in once i a while, checking up new posts from blogger friends etc.

Today's class, my lecturer asked the class to write not a journal she said, but a daily log. She wanted us to practice pouring or describing our thought in form of words. Well she has a point, I do have a bit of problem transcribing my thoughts into writing though. I guess I will follow her advice. Maybe tiny bit of rant, nonsense or whatever. And maybe little bit of grammatical error, literal translation since English is not my mother tongue but things are not going to improve if I did not do something, ain't it right?

So let just count this as my first daily rant, or maybe hourly?! LOL, I might end up bitching about someone here, I'll try to refrain myself nevertheless. By the way, I intentionally put pictures of Inchik S and me, just because. Good day, see y'all next time.

Inchik S's and my foot.

We went to Bukit Merah.