Sunday, 24 April 2016

We are living together

I was not thinking deep enough when I made the decision to live together. I was just excited that we could live together, apart from I was going to start working. Now, I regret my decision.

Inchik S and I have been living together for 2 weeks now. No, we're not living together as lovers, but as two souls working in this metropolitan city, trying to make a living for ourselves.

Last weekend, I was not sure why, but I decided to get drunk. I drank before, twice in my whole life. But I never get drunk. Mainly because I was always the driver for my drunk friends. So, I need to get sober. However, only a week after living together, I started to feel the burden. The love I thought has lost, the feeling I thought has gone came back gushing towards me. I requested him to be my driver that night.

I ordered a pin of beer, and six tequila shots. At my fourth shot, I was drunk enough. From there onward, I could not control everything I said. Everything on my mind, things I had hid so deep just came out like a waterfall. He now knows everything.

I told him why I like him. I told him I was jealous of his girlfriend. I told him about my worries of living together. I told him about my terrible life, about my suicidal thought. I told him about this blog. I told him how I cried because of him. Some were things I did not even write, and he knows.

But most importantly, I told him to give me time. To be loving someone for 5 years, I need more time to forget him, to get over him, to move on. I begged him. I was so drunk but I did not forget a single thing I told him.

And he being him, just listened. Only little response.

The day after that 'eventful' night, we spoke so little. I was embarrassed for everything I had mentioned on my drunken state. But I have no regret. Finally, he knows everything from this mouth of mine.

Dear God, forgive me for what I did. Give me resolution, peace and soothe me from all these pains.

That would be the last time I ever drank.


  1. oh em geeee. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. aku tak tahu nak tergelak ke apa ke. tell me more!!!

  2. oh em geeee. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. aku tak tahu nak tergelak ke apa ke. tell me more!!!

  3. Apa reaksi dia terhadap awak?

  4. Love, not good for U.

    Be strong and live happily. :p

  5. Amir don't know how to said this...but...for me deciding to live together is not a best option...

    And Amir know that 'Love' me...i had been on that same boat...

    But...please love yourself first...jangan seksa diri sendiri...coz if you don't love can you love somebody else...

  6. baru 2 minggu,aku sure nanti bila dah lama kau akan biasa dengan keadaan tu,aku juga mengalami masalah sama (duduk sekali dgn my 1st 'bf') aku tak ada pilihan,tapi lama-lama aku sedar benda ni akan buat kita kuat,bertahan la sedikit,jangan la buat perkara yang memudaratkan diri,itu tidak akan menyelesaikan masalah

  7. Hopefully everything is good. :)

  8. komitmen besar nak duduk sekali ni...aku tak suka judge orang but drinking is bad for your learn to stop and be strong...chaiyokkkk!!!

  9. komitmen nk duduk sekali tu mmg betul besar macam komen en asyraf... be strong bro!